Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Best Gifts.

The best gifts, are not gifts at all. The best gifts are not physical, tangible objects. You can't hold them in your hand, you can't wrap them up in pretty ribbons, and you can't take them back to the store and ask for an exchange. It just doesn't work that way.

The best gifts, honest to gawd, are good friendships.

I can tell you, right here, right now, that if you took EVERYTHING from me but my friendships, I'd be doing just fine.

In my roughest, darkest, hardest moments, my friendships pulled me through. My friendships with humans, with dogs, with horses. Friendships. It wasn't the money, it wasn't the fancy car, it wasn't the ability to dine in expensive restaurants.

I got an email from a friend today, and I knocked me to the floor. Hard. I sat there stunned, looking at my computer, and proceeded to YELL at it. Yes, at the screen. Why? Because that's what you do with friends. The best advice you can offer them, is always so clear, that you can't help but scream it from the hilltops. Why? Because you *know* them. And only have their best in mind.

It's been a crazy week for me. I actually sat here today and for some crazy reason, missed H. Yup. I saw her on Monday. But today, I missed talking with her. Why? Dunno. I just did. On Tuesday? I stayed up late in a rather intoxicated state, baring my soul to G. And he didn't bat an eye. Today, another close friend's pony is heading off to some amazing training, and I know she's gonna be a little nervous. Know what? I look forward to supporting and cheering her on through it. I started making plans to visit another friend during her training, because I knew she'd love the support. I almost finished up my house plans, which are the compilation of a lot of friends' input and support.

Friends don't do things because they have to. They do things because they can't fathom not.

My ex used to complain a lot to me that he didn't have any friends. I'd often suggest he join Big Brothers, as he was once a little brother himself. And it had meant a lot to him. But he'd say to me "What am I supposed to do with some kid? What's he gonna do with me?". Then I'd suggest a neighbour or a buddy and he'd say "That guy can't help me. I'd be sitting around telling him stuff and he couldn't do anything for me."

And I'd sigh deeply and try my best to explain to him that he was missing the definition of friendship. Interestingly, sitting here today, I realize that you can't explain friendship to someone. You can't tell someone how to be a good friend. It's a compulsion. It just happens to you, when certain people enter your life.

You lose control of it. You can't help it.

There's this country song that sometimes comes on the radio and makes me think of it.

You find out who your friends are 
Somebody's gonna drop everything 
Run out and crank up their car 
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far' 
They just show on up with their big old heart 
You find out who your friends are

Regardless, this was a week of true friendship. I'm never going to be perfect. I'm never going to be able to give my friends my everything. I won't be able to move mountains for them, or cure their sadness. But I am, I will *always* do my absolute best to make their dreams come through, in whatever small way I can. Why? Because so many of them have made mine come through, and if they haven't, I know that they wouldn't hesitate for a second if given the opportunity. And they wouldn't hesitate because friends are friends because they can't possibly be anything else.

So that email, I didn't hesitate to tell that friend, I'd do everything in my power. And I meant it. It might be a royal pain for me, but it'll be worth it in the end. It will. Because I know they'll be happy. And that'll make me happy. They've helped me, now I get to help them. This web of wonder we weave with our friends.

I'm so spoiled in my life. I know that.

1 comment:

  1. I understand what you mean by wanting to yell at an email. Trying to help one of my friend's right now who is so low, and I just keep trying to aid her through it.