Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Whoops! Here I am!

Sorry folks! Looks like I continue to go MIA, and kinda remember to come back to blogging thanks to my friend S, who harasses me when there's nothing for her to read during the work hour. Government employees ; )

What have I been up to?

Living up the single life in a freezing cold prairie province is what!!

December whipped by, between Christmas and work and travelling for work. I had two weeks of training (epidemiology...google it), and took zero holidays. The weather wasn't bad (H informs me that in fact, the horses HAVE been blanketed this winter...funny what you don't know when they're always naked when you show up...sorry H!), but the daylight sucks. Yes, yes I could ride at night. But I'm a big bad wuss and when it's dark, my body thinks 'sleep?'.

I've been out riding...once since the New Year started!! I DID get my Christmas morning ride on Moon, and we cantered through the deep snow of the paddock. It was bliss. We did a schooling ride over the holidays too, and I'm loving this horse to bits. He's swell. And I don't think a winter of half-hearted riding is going to do him any harm. The boy doesn't even buck me off riding bareback at a canter. I'm not complaining that he's not seriously worked this winter.

This was my first ride of the year...or after it I suppose...
H and I, in our matching riding outfits (darn Greenhawk Christmas sale last year!) went out bareback (but with bridles, unlike the picture) for a hack down the road. We went about 3 miles round trip or so.

Anyway, we hacked out into the cold and the boys were wonderful. I'm loving bareback this winter. My goal is to get to the point where I can ride Moon in just a halter and lead rope by the end of winter. In the paddock. I have no serious death wish. : P

If anyone has seen the new movie Django (recommended!), let me say that the scene where Django mounts the horse from the ground and rides away bareback and bridle/halterless? Like the horse nutter I am, I turned to my man and rather loudly announced in the theatre (which was pretty quiet!) "I can mount my horse like that!". Yup. He thankfully just laughed and spent the remainder of the movie asking me what other tricks done by the movie horses my Moon is capable of. ; ) I want to add, that I went to the movie on the premise that no horses would die. And heads up, a LOT of horses die. : P

Where was I going with this??

Right, I want to ride my horse completely naked (Moon naked, not me. Gross. Horse hair on your bum??!), in the paddock someday. That's this summer's goal. ; )

So H and I went out hacking, did a little trotting and then cantered down the open stretch. It was awesome. While we were out just long enough to freeze (windchill!), we had a blast. I love it out there with her.

I also love our horses together. Granted Moon has a bit of a crush and dependancy on Manwell, these are two horses that can amble down the trail nose-in-tail. And no misbehaviour. It just makes riding a blast.

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For Christmas, my sisters and I always buy each other's boyfriends/husbands a gift. My one sister is married, the other has a long time boyfriend. Since my man and I have only been together for 4 months, it didn't really seem right for him to make it into the gift giving. I'm CERTAIN he would've felt a little awkward (my girlfriends all gave him gifts, and I could read it on his face then!).

So instead, the gifts that would have gone to my man, went to my pony and my puppy. What does that mean?!

MoonSox received 10 lbs of fresh carrots for Christmas, and a kilogram (2.2 lbs) of sugar cubes. And about 400 mini elastics for his mane.

And Halo? She got the best gift of all! A bridge and a crawl-under for agility!! Yes, how cool is that?! Add it to her tunnel, and we're 1/2 way to having an agility set-up. Guess how we'll be spending our summer?!
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So why am I so busy? Well, I can tell you that it had nothing to do with the new man. G worked an insane number of hours during December, having all of 2 days off the entire month - Christmas, and the Thursday before Christmas (which was going to be our Christmas together until I had to be in training). Two days. The first day he had off in January (New Years) he spent with me. Yes, I'm a happily spoiled woman. I got my first kiss under the mistletoe to boot.

If it wasn't G, then what was it?

Well folks...it's crunch time.

Crunch time??

No, it doesn't relate to the 10 lbs of carrots.

It's about building.

This spring, is supposed to be "DREAM HOME BUILD 2013". Which means the plans must be finished by the end of this month, reviewed by an engineer, estimates drawn on EVERYTHING, submitted to the bank for approval and THEN...submitted to the municipality for permits. All before we can start digging a hole in the dirt.

I'm a little freaked out, but I'm giving it my all. Yesterday on my day off, I spent almost the entire day at my computer, taking a small break for a nap (yawn) and an episode of television over dinner. Sunday morning, it was the same thing, except for the ride in the afternoon with H and then dinner and gaming with G late in the evening. Saturday? Spent the morning trying to get internet so I can start researching building at home, and got in a quick snowmobile ride in the afternoon, and my entire evening until 10 pm was spent on the house plans.

Seriously. Exhausting. And hopefully oh-so worth it.

It's insane when you realize what you're willing to take on to achieve a dream. This is my dream. Since I was a little girl. I've been drawing house plans since I was 6. I used to cut people out of the Sears catalogue and make them walk around on the floor plans like they actually lived there in 3D. My dad used to bring home the Real Estate papers and mark out which areas we could "live in". Then my sister and I would buy imaginary land, build imaginary houses on them (sketch it all up in pencils and markers) and when we were a little older (10 and 12) my dad would help us make up imaginary budgets to boot. My imaginary self (some middle-aged brunette Sears model) would buy a little city house cheap, fixer up, get an impressive job, marry a fancy-pants man (a brown-haired man from the Sears Catalogue of course), cut a little golden retriever out of the catalogue to boot, and sell that little city house to move onto some 200 acre lot in the Manitoba wilderness. I'd draw out how many acres were pasture, and hay and grain, and pretend that we build a beautiful mansion there. We'd have some inordinate number of children (cute little model children from the Sears catalogue of course), not because I wanted a ton of kids when I was older, but because I just liked sooo many names and thought it was bad enough that each already had two middle names!

lol. My sister's husband was always "John Ken" And mine? "Ken Johnson"

I think I wandered off onto memory lane there...

My point is that as children, we dream. Often, way too big for our own capacity. I never became the veterinarian that saved EVERY animal she touched. I never met Ken Johnson in a vet clinic and we never married. I don't have an inordinate number of children (thank gawd!) and I have a beautiful white husky instead of that golden retriever. There isn't 200 acres of land. There's 15. And while I drive the car of my dreams from when I was a little girl...it's a giant lemon (side note: car needs new brakes, the starter wire fell off, the battery won't hold a full charge, the licence plate mount fell off, a bunch of plastic pieces in the engine were just balancing there, the block heater cord is broken, the driver's window jams and the command start stopped work. Love that car).

I don't look like the woman in the Sears Catalogue I used to pretend was me. I'll never build that beautiful mansion.

But age, doesn't destroy our dreams. It tempers us to see that the possible, within the reality, is far more wonderful than any dream we could fathom as a child.

I don't want to marry Mr. Fancy-pants and I wouldn't trade my husky for a retriever. I have no use for 200 acres, and would rip my hair out if asked to raise 6 kids (thankfully there isn't even 2 names I like anymore!).

I do, I will, still build my beautiful home in the country. It will sit on 15 acres and won't have the grandest foyer. But it will be the most welcoming front door you ever did see. Each kid won't have their own private bath, and I won't have a multi-floored master bedroom complete with in-suite kitchen. I don't even want to think about cooking when I'm lying in bed. Instead, it will be cozy and warm, and something I'm willing to spend a weekend cleaning, not have to take holidays or hire a maid.

Cozy. Warm. Inviting. Those are words I'd use TODAY to express my dream home. When I was a little girl, I wanted square footage. Size. Lots of bathrooms and a huge recroom and a movie theatre. I wanted a big garage for all my fast cars, and glamor and glory.

Today, I want cozy, warm and inviting. Peaceful. Retreat. A place for family and friends. The way my parents and friends' houses are. Grandeur no longer means the size of your master suite. It means how content the people who pass through your home are when they leave. It's little things now. It's the pantry full of scents and flavours and choices. It's the warm kitchen where many people can gather. The crackling fireplace to relax at night, and the cozy bed to curl up upon when you dream.

Yes, I am busy finding my dreams. And making them happen. Last year, I found an amazing amount of success with Moon. We had a year of coaching and it made us amazing partners. We moved to H's and grew a great friendship even greater. We showed, we won ribbons, we pushed ourselves harder than we ever have before. We bonded.

And that means, that this year, I can focus on the next dream, the next piece of my puzzle, without worrying about how Mr. Moon is doing. We're established. Like the best relationships, I know that what we have will never fade, because we're linked at our soul. And while I sometimes might not be there as much as I want, and sometimes I only show when something has gone wrong, we always pick back up right where we left off. We're tied.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, next year he'll be home with me...

But I'll still blog, I'll still keep you updated. I have a private blog with a ton of updates on building, and if you're interested, I can probably sneak you over there. I'm still here, I'm still writing, and I'm still riding. I'm just doing it differently.

To wherever 2013 takes us...

3 comments:

  1. Love everything you wrote about dreams and reality and how things change.

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  2. Oh wow, how exciting! We so much want to build but are just totally overwhelmed by the process. And banks here have become so sticky when it comes to construction projects...they really want you to buy something existing. Well gee, if we could find something existing that met our requirements, we'd get it, wouldn't we?!

    I can't wait to hear about your building project. Maybe it will help inspire us.

    Live the dream! And Happy New Year!

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  3. I was just thinking about you and Moon this weekend...sooo glad to hear from you! And like L. Williams, I love what you wrong about dreams and the last paragraph about your and Moon's relationship! :)

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