Pointless.

I'm feeling like 90% pointless in my world of ponies these days.

I'm not sure if anyone else has felt this, but despite loving the hell out of Moon, enjoying his company, having a blast on trail rides with my friends, I just...

I feel pointless.

Directionless.

Challenge-less.

While I think getting the kids on ponies this summer will be awesome and a huge part of a new experience I'm looking for, in the mean time...I really just have zero desire to ride for anything more than social reasons.

Our chances of competing again in Moon's life are...slim. Like him and I? I'd give it 95% that we won't. I'm hopeful, dreamy really, that maybe one of the kids would take him to a show or two, but it's not likely to be anything more challenging then what we're already doing.

I'd love to do some more jumping and see if we can actually get some courses under our belt, just for fun. But it's winter here, it's cold and icy and a considering I fell on my arse yesterday because of the conditions, I'm thinking that's a good 3 or 4 months away from now.
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Last week H and I took Moon and another horse out on the trails. It was about 10 pm when we left the barn into the freshly snow covered trails. We rode into the park, cantered through the woods bareback in a halter, by only moon light.

Not to sound full of myself, but we've probably mastered enough "trail riding" challenges to make the riding challenge here almost nil. Even when Moon spooks at the other horse's fart.

I mean, he's a horse I can gallop bareback in almost no tack, as fast as his legs can carry him, along a huge field in an area we've never been before with his herd calling in the background and...

It's awesome, but it's not hard.

The problem with me, is that I am 100% goal oriented. And I have no goal. Hell, I can't even dream up a realistic goal.

Just one chick puttering around on a horse.

Ugh. What the hell are we supposed to be doing out there now?!

What am I supposed to be doing?

Heart Sharing

So here's a question horse blogger friends...

Horse Sharing. Good or bad?

Moon has been an awesome horse. These last couple of weeks, despite the cold temperatures, we've done a ton of trail riding, and if there's one thing I can see, it's that he's a happy, easy going, rideable horse.

I think back to when I first got him, and he's always been a really easy going horse. He's not complicated. I love every moment that I get to ride him, but like most of us, life is ever changing.


Moon and I have gotten to have some truly amazing moments together, from blue ribbons to swimming to galloping across the open country. He is a streadfast partner, and will be turning 16 this year. It makes me think a lot about something...

5 year old me would have *loved* to ride a horse. But riding is expensive. My parents just couldn't invest that kind of money into a hobby, and as we all know, it's even more expensive to compete, lease a horse and be able to truly trail ride. And pony club requires a mount, and that's not cheap. And as an adult, I was lucky enough to catch ride so many great horses, which shaped me into a skilled rider, as well as making me appreciate each and every one that I got to ride.

All of this makes me almost...desperate(?) to share the experience. Desperate? Anxious? Eager? Something. I can't even describe it. It's like realizing you have something so precious and wanting to share it with as many people as you can.

I sincerely hope to start giving my two nieces beginner lessons. They'll be 5 and 6 this year and that's old enough to start becoming comfortable around horses and sitting up on their backs learning to steer and communicate with them. Not only do I get to share something so amazing with them that I love and am passionate about (and maybe instill or foster the same thing in them), but it's a new and fresh challenge for me. With a horse that really, has already done so much with me, we need something new.

The other thing, is that feeling that it's time to "Pay it back" when it comes to adults/teenagers riding. I learned so much, and was so lucky to be able to free lease and catch ride so many great horses, that I feel like the time has come to return that favor to the next round. It's hard for me to share him, and yet at the same time, I feel fortunate to have something to share.

I think it's something Moon and I both need. Our relationship is so strong, that I don't fear losing him or something changing. I believe that between the nieces, and the right adult rider, I can give him new experiences and challenges, as well as grow both of us. And in the long term, he could potentially have a wonderful retirement career with the kids, or a nice easy hacker.

I want to share what I have. Knowledge and training and lessons and pony.

But is it too hard when it's your heart horse, or just another exciting chapter in the book?? :)